Partnering with widows
If you are a widow, and do not feel financially secure, we need to talk.
Many women say that the loss of their spouse 💔 is the most traumatic event they have experienced in their life, and I’d like to help guide you and support you during this next chapter of your life, and help you feel more secure financially.
As a financial planner, we often share with our clients the 4 stages of transition when dealing with the loss of a loved one. While it does help to think of each stage as one step closer to starting the new chapter of your life, you should also be aware that clients do tend to move throughout these stages at their own pace, moving forwards and backwards and forwards again 🔁. So if the precise description of these stages, or the timing, does not pertain to you, that is ok, too. It is just helpful to know that many others who have experienced loss, whether sudden or not, do have some of the same feelings and anxieties.
And you should also know that I can help. I can educate 👩🏾🎓 you and partner with you to help you make financial and legal decisions that work best for you and your family, but I can also just listen, and be someone on your side, during this difficult transition. Let’s turn to brief descriptions of the stages of loss.
The first stage is actually a preliminary stage, called ‘anticipation.’
If your particular circumstances afford you the gift of preparation 🗂, or planning ahead, in anticipation of future health care decisions, there are many we can do together that can help you better prepare for the near future.
Some examples of what I help my clients with, as their partner, include:
Discussing your loved one’s health care options - what are the proposed treatment plans? Should we request a second opinion? Do you have an advocate to attend medical 👩🏽⚕️visits with you, to comprehend and take notes?
Do you have your estate plan in order? Does it include end of life wishes? Has your estate plan been updated for the state you are currently living in?
What are your loved one’s funeral wishes – logistics, services, speakers?
How are you paying the bills? Do you need or have help organizing your immediate finances and bill 📆 paying needs?
Stage 2 is the grief stage.
In the grief stage, it is very likely that you will feel numb, and/or overwhelmed. This stage can last up to several years, and you may feel highly vulnerable. Stage 2 is not the time to make any big, irrevocable decisions. In fact, in stage 2, we typically focus only on necessary, immediate decisions.
Some examples of what I help my clients with in this phase include:
What are the immediate bills that need paying 📆?
What are your cash 💵 needs for the next several months, and how do we access that cash?
Should you contact your employer for a leave of absence, and/or your spouse’s employer for any company benefits you may be entitled to?
We will also go through a now/soon/later ⏰ exercise together. We will create a working document, where we determine as a team, your financial priorities and focus for the immediate future, for the next 3-12 months, and then later, which can include your decisions such as keeping or selling your home.
This exercise also helps us bucket your assets into categories of goals, helping us align resources with the appropriate investment strategy. For example, our resources dedicated to shorter-term bill paying may be best housed in liquid bank products (cash 💵, checking, CDs). And conversely, when we determine how much we can dedicate to your longer-term goals, we may decide to invest those assets more aggressively, with some amount in stocks which can offer higher growth potential than cash.
The next stage, stage 3, is one of passage and empowerment.
In stage 3, my clients pass from feelings of fear and chaos, to feelings of growth and empowerment 💪🏽. You may finally start to feel that your earlier fog is lifting, and you are starting to see the joy in life again. In this phase, I like to help my clients really feel financially empowered to thrive and continue progressing to their new, exciting, reality. Earlier, we triaged, and created some short-term strategies that corresponded with your emotional state.
Now, we can really home in on the details of your plan.
What would you like to accomplish now?
Do your assets allow you to pursue new dreams, or should we address new or continued work plans?
Have you thought about your legacy, in terms of family 👩👩👧👧 goals as well as philanthropic 🌿 desires?
And the last stage, or stage 4, is your transformation phase!
In stage 4, my clients progress towards their ‘new normal’. They enter their own transformation phase, as they have emerged from prior feelings of deep grief, and can financially see their new life evolving. Many women have even started dating 💃🏻at this point.
As your partner, I will continue to educate 👩🏾🎓 and empower you 👊.
We will work together to make progress towards achieving your financial and life goals.
We will simplify, and streamline your financial life, freeing up emotional bandwidth for your exciting new plans for life.
In sum, if you’re reading this for yourself, or for friends and family, just know that any loss, whether anticipated or sudden, is devastating. But you can and will make progress through stages 🧗🏼♀️ that are typical for many who have experienced similar life events.
As you contemplate your immediate future, please do not feel rushed into any financial decisions. Beware of financial predators, including friends and family, who often unscrupulously tend to arrive on scene when we have the fewest emotional resources to address them directly. I tell my clients to tell the hawks, “I have a partner in my financial advisor. If you would like to discuss this issue further, please contact her directly.”
Just knowing you have a partner 👩🏾🤝👩🏼who is looking out for you, can provide some feelings of relief. Be sure that YOU have a partner that will educate and empower you, to make decisions that you feel confident with. Contact me today to schedule time. I would be honored to help you.